Four Boys Is Enough, Right?
by ElasticMonk41
Summary: AU: What happens when Kate overhears Castle's sleep chatter and takes it to heart? Fighting with Ryan turns to a deep conversation. Lanie is always a best friend to talk to. Finally, confronting Castle keeps her on her toes. Four Boys. A set of Twins. Alexis makes Five. Kate's thinking of the future.
1. Chapter 1

"Four boys, is enough, right?" Kate huffed. She fell into her desk chair. Ryan and Esposito looked at her with confused eyes.

"Sure," Kevin stumbled. He shared at look with his friend. "Why do you ask?" Kate scratched her head. She shook it again then dove into paperwork.

"Castle pushing for more?" Esposito asked. Kate didn't react. "You want more?" She still didn't react. Esposito gasped loudly and full of fear. "Are you pregnant?" he said the words with disgust. Kate froze just slightly.

"You're pregnant!" Ryan shouted across the bullpen. Everyone froze, but Kate. She moved into the breakroom and started to make coffee. So many detectives full of fear ignored everything that had happened in the past five minutes. Ryan scrambled to get to the breakroom. He slammed the door shut and stalked over to Beckett. _Seriously, they send little Ryan?_ She thought.

"What?" she snapped.

"You have four children," he spat. She nodded with an eye roll. "You're trying for another? What you finally want a girl?" Beckett glared at him.

"Ryan, stop while you're ahead," she warned.

"You have _four_ children. All boys! Do you know how lucky you are? You got pregnant on your first try! Then you get twins. Finally, you end with Smo another boy! He's three. You want another child? You want to go through diapers, spit up, crying, cribs, and another Castle? You're lucky, Beckett. But you're older now. You can put the baby in danger. Why are you trying? Do you know how long it took Jenny and I to get pregnant with number one? Let alone the next one that we were _lucky_ was a boy." He glared at her.

She snapped. Her finger dug into his chest and she backed him up into a wall. "Kevin, I know how lucky I am. If you think for _one_ second I don't know, I will shoot you myself with no regret. I know I have _four boys_. I know how long it took you and Jenny to get pregnant. I cried for over a year when we got pregnant with Smo, because I knew you two were trying so hard. Meanwhile, Castle and I have three healthy boys all happy and easily brought. I pray every day for you two. I know you are trying again, don't lie."

Ryan swallowed thickly, but didn't back down. He opened his mouth for more, but she beat him to it. "I love each of your children, my children, and Esposito's future children. I know I was lucky to get pregnant once, twice, three times was a blessing. Hell, all were blessings. I was overly blessed to have twins. Healthy twins. But one thing you and Esposito never knew." She stopped.

Ryan narrowed his eyes. "What?" he still spat.

"We lost another." Ryan gasped. "Joe and Nico are identical, but there was a third with them at first." Kate got tears in her eyes. "We lost the third at two months. Put the boys in more danger. They're identical, so there was already more risk. But when we lost the third, we almost lost the two. Not only did we almost loose the twins, but Nico had a lot of trouble in the womb. Joe was taking all the supplies. He came out so tiny. I didn't even get to hold him when they came out." She was now full out crying.

"They were in the NICU for three weeks. Three weeks," she sobbed. "I wasn't allowed to hold Nico for two days. Then when I did Joe fell. You were there. You watched us cry and pray our boys would survive a few days. We felt so bad that we couldn't do anything. Twins are supposed to be safe, Kevin." She wiped her tears. She turned away for a second. "So when we got pregnant with Smo, we thought we'd gotten our third back. And we feel like we did. Smo was healthy, two days early, talkative, and everything a baby can be to be perfect.

"I still cry for you and Jenny. Some days I even wished you had had Smo, not us." She bit her lip hard. "Do you know how guilty I feel for thinking that? How guilty Castle and I feel for having Smo? Jack prays with us for you and Jenny. Jack! He barely speaks, but says the words 'Let Jenny and Kevin Ryan be blessed with all the children they want' perfectly."

"Kate," Kevin whispered. Kate scratched the tears away.

"Don't blame me, Ryan. I already blame me." She turned away. Kevin wanted to hug her, but the question still remained. He cautiously spoke, quietly.

"So, are you pregnant?" He cringed. Kate didn't say anything. She turned, grabbed her coffee, and walked out of the breakroom. She ignored the people who scattered by the breakroom windows. Ryan tagged her heels.

Before he could ask again, she said, "We're not talking about this again. Tell Esposito. And if you repeat anything you heard, I will kill you."

"Jenny?"

"Only Smo and his story," she whispered. Ryan smiled. His eyes told her he'd be hugging her and kissing her cheeks if she wasn't so angry.

An hour later, Kate was running down to the morgue. She blew through the doors and shouted, "Lanie, we need to talk!"

Lanie jumped. "Katherine Castle, what have I told you about doing that?" she scolded her like a child.

"What have I told you about calling me Katherine Castle?" Kate tilted her head, fire in her eyes. "I need to talk to you, now." She stressed. Lanie waved her hand and Kate took her seat on an empty slate. "Four boys is enough, right?" Lanie double looked.

"Are you pregnant? I told you! I told you you'd get pregnant again! I knew you weren't done." Lanie cheered and twirled.

"Lanie! I need you to answer my question."

"Well." Lanie froze. "Yes. Four boys is enough. You have your hands full. Four kids period is enough. But for me I'd stop at one. You could go on and on, though. Really, you're a good Mom. And you love kids. At first you were wary, but you've not only got a knack for it, but an ease. You stumble and stuff, but you really handle it well. Castle too. You're good parents. You've got a few years left you could have a few more."

"Yeah, yeah. I know. But is it enough? Four? Four boys?" Lanie took a moment to think. She finally turned to Kate straight on.

"Is it enough for you?" Kate bite her lip hard. "It's not?" She squinted her eyes. "Did you talk to Castle? Maybe four's enough for him. Maybe he has too much on his hands. It's one thing if you're pregnant, but. Wishes."

"Castle is iffy, I think. Last night while he was sleeping he mumbled about a sixth." Lanie eyes widened. Kate put a hand up. "Not like that. We have five kids. Alexis is our five. I say we have four, but we have five. If you ask Castle, he'll always say five. But last night he said six."

"Are you sure it was about kids? Your kids? Because we've had Castle Sleep Talk conversations before about things that had nothing to do with what it really was."

"No. It was about kids." Kate shook her head holding her lip tightly in her clutches. "Our kids. I know it." Kate stared longingly at the floor. "I'm lucky. Really lucky. Ryan told me that today."

"You talked to Ryan about this." Lanie flew her hands in the air. "Ryan? Are you insane? You talked to the man who has trouble getting his own kids about your wish for a _fifth_?"

"It wasn't like that. When getting to work, I still had four boys enough on my mind and it slipped out. The boys asked and I walked away. Ryan cornered me and told me how lucky I am and how he doesn't think it's right for us to be trying."

"What'd you say?"

"I told him about our prayers and the third." She shook her head. Lanie gasped. Kate and Castle never talked about the third. Never. Only between the two of them. None of the boys knew, Alexis and Martha and Jim never ask because they know how much it hurt the pair, and no one but Lanie and the close family knew. Castle didn't want to tell anyone. It didn't feel right to tell the boys.

"What'd he say?"

"I didn't let him say anything. I asked him not to tell anyone. I feel guilty, Lanie."

"Talk to Castle."

…

Kate waited until all four of the boys were knocked out in beds. After two hours of wrestling with Mom and Dad, dinner, cookies, and story time. Kate wanted the talk to be special, but was still feeling guilty. Castle wanted to have a romantic night. They hadn't had one in a while, but she wanted to have the talk before they had the do. "Castle," she whispered. He narrowed his eyes.

"Is this the sex talk again? Beckett," he whined. "I know how it all works. I know where babies come from. I've made a few. I know our safe-word, and if I remember correctly we haven't had to use it in a few years."

"Castle," she pleaded. He sat down on the bed with a serious and scared face. She sat down next to him. "We'll take a bath in a second, just first. Is it wrong to want a sixth?" she cringed.

"What?" he didn't get it. She leaned into him and hid her face with her hands.

"A sixth. A baby. It feels wrong, but so right. All I can keep thinking about it Ryan and Jenny and you and me and the boys and Alexis. I don't know if it's just that time of year or Smo turning three, but I want another." She didn't look him in the eye. He pulled her hands down and looked her straight in the eyes.

"First of all, it's Cosmo, not Smo. You know how I feel about that." Kate's smile was full of water. "Ryan and Jenny are getting all our prayers and are happy right now. I know they're trying, you said. But a while back Ryan and I had a conversation. I had the Dad talk with him." Kate raised a brow. "I asked him how he was doing everything, what he was doing, if he was using it right." Kate giggled. She fell into him. "Yes the Dad talk. The talk I don't want to have to have for another few years. He said he was happy with his girl and boy."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whimpered.

"You were still crying about Smo, Cosmo." He corrected himself with a tongue tick. Kate giggled again. "It was a Man talk. I didn't think you had business there. This is not a thing about males and females. It was a gut thing. Kind of like the thing you're talking about now." Kate burrowed deeper into his chest. "I don't know if you're serious about it though because you won't look me in the eye."

She closed her eyes and pulled back. "I'm scared you think it's silly or that I'm not happy with what we have, or that your hands are already full." He rubbed her cheeks. He kissed each eyelid.

"I know you love what we have. I know you're in love with our boys and me. I know you love Alexis. I'd never second guess that, Kate. Your thoughts are never silly to me. Except the ones that think Superman and Batman are better than me. Those are just insane." His eyes widened. Kate belly laughed. "Good, laughing. That's good." She kissed his lips. "Kissing, better." He grinned widely. "My hands are full, yes but in a good way. You have no idea how much help you are though. The fact that you spend basically all weekends with them and leave me to write, is amazing." He kissed her lips.

"It helps a lot that you take Jack to and from kindergarten and the twins to preschool. That you take Jack to speech twice a week, the only times he goes. That you go in a seven and leave a five or six. That you fought to get those hours and that you rarely break those times. That you let me tag along on cases twice a week. That you drag Smo to preschool twice a week so I only have to do it twice. That five days a week you have one hour lunches and you take two days off to take one boy on their own to lunch. They all get a turn for four weeks of the month. The other day you take off you play games with me." He grinned wider.

"You still haven't answer my question."

"I'm getting there. While you take the boys on adventures, I write and sleep. You took eleven months off, on 'medical leave' when you have the twins. That gave you ten months with Jonah and Nico. That you added an extra two months to your maternity leave with Smo." He chuckled. "Gates hated you almost as much as she hates me. She threatened to fire you."

"Good thing my cases all passed, and I did actually get shot when they twins were two months old. So medical leave was real."

"You were grazed on the bicep. Even you said that. You milked it till she threatened to fire you."

"You pushed me back in." She hid her face once more.

"Because you love it. With Smo you even passed cases while feeding him, chasing three toddlers, and seducing me."

"You made it so easy," she purred.

"More like you're very sexy." He kissed her cheek. She saucily threw him a grin. "You help a lot. Too much at times, because you come home after working all day and taking one of the boys to lunch and taking Jack to and from school plus to a speech session and you look like you need to collapse. I know you think I can't handle all of them at once, but I can do a little more. I can take Jack to speech, and take Smo, Nico, and Joe to school."

She shook her head. "I won't be a good Mom if I don't do those things." Rick opened his mouth. She covered it with her hand. "I get very little time alone with each boy. Mostly Nico and Joe. They are always a pair. Going out to lunch with the boys, is never going to change. If we add one more, we add one more. Smo gets mornings with me, so you can take an extra day of preschool, that'd be great. But I'm keeping one day. I love how he dances down the street." She giggled.

"Nico and Joe get most of their Mommy time during the lapses between dropping Jack off and me dropping them off. They crave it, I can tell." She huffed. "So you can't take that away. You need all the time to write, otherwise you're up in the middle of the night and have no time for when the boys come home or for us to actually share a bed. I still have odd hours and sharing a bed is something I love." Kate laid down and pulled him with her.

"Well that good. We can make those changes."

"Baby?" She bite her lip.

"I'd love another one. Our schedules would mix just fine. The twins already share a room, and Jack tucks himself in with Smo all the time."

"But…?"

"Close your eyes." She didn't hesitate, he knew she was excited. "Picture our family Christmas card."

"Rick it's February."

"Kate." She did. "Tell me what you see."

She sighed heavily. "I see Jack with his arms around Nico and Joe. Smo being hung upside down by you. Maybe Alexis peeking her head out from behind you. And…" She smiled.

"Tell it all."

"A green bundle in my arms," she rushed. Rick kissed her head.

"I can picture it." Kate buzzed with excitement. She opened her eyes to see his glimmering eyes. She felt something was off.

"What is it?"

"Last night I had a dream," he whispered. Kate jumped to start talking about said dream but he continued. "I was sitting across from a man. We were talking about my new bio for the book. We talked about you and your job and how you're still a cop and a mom. We talked about Alexis and how she's doing her own thing but still a big part of our lives. We talked about Mother and how she is our fleeting parenting inspiration." Kate nodded enthusiastically. "Then we got to our kids." Something dark flashed across his face. "He asked me if we should name them all or just put how many lived with us or how many we have." His brow furrowed.

"What?"

"This is where it gets confusing. I told him the number, but I couldn't hear it. It bothered me in sleep. He started talking about names and I said all the kids' names birth order, 'Alexis, Jack, Jonah, Nico, and Cosmo.' I even thought about mentioning that our little Cosmo goes my Smo or that Jonah is really our Joe. But the guy told me I was missing one. I told him he was wrong. He checked some papers and said I was wrong that I had six kids. He asked me for a name and I just didn't have one. I asked him how he knew. He said we put it out on twitter and it was in the news." He shook his head. "I felt a loss, Kate. I felt like I lost something very important and I couldn't find it. A sixth kid."

"Was it a lost feeling like I lost my child?"

"I don't know. It wasn't good. But you bringing up kids makes me think that maybe it was my future-self telling me we are going to have six one day." He frowned at her.

"Why are you upset?" She rubbed the flat of her thumb over the crease in his brow.

"Ryan and Jenny. Lanie. Esposito. We already have five. One amazing fully grown daughter and four healthy young boys. I feel like they'd see it as selfish."

"Don't worry about Ry and Lanie. Ryan had a talk with me scolded me about being pregnant." He gasped. "I'm not. Told me it was shameful that we'd even think of trying. I told him about the third. About our prayers. How Jack can really only pronounce their prayer. How I cried for over a year when we found out about Smo."

"How'd he react?"

"I'm not sure. I was out of there before he really said anything. I think he was sorry he blew up at me. Thankful for our prayers. He was shocked about the third. Lanie said it was up to us if we thought four was enough."

"Enough?"

"Oh yeah. I had asked if four was enough. Four boys, in fact."

"Is it?"

"Four boys is definitely enough. But I see a straggler, Rick. Another big belly that you talk and rub to. I see Smo as a big brother. I see another baby-fest in our future."

"Gut? Or wish?"

"Both." She screwed up her face. He kissed her belly, crawled up to her mouth, and pulled back once she was panting.

"Let's compromise with our battling consciousness. Throw the pills away, unless you get the feeling one day you need it. Condoms are a…?"

"No, Castle," she purred and arched into him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. "Every ridge, spasm, muscle, and seed. I want to feel it all," she growled. He peppered kisses along her neck.

"Chances are, if we're not using protection you'll be pregnant by the end of the month."

"Maybe not. Let's see how it goes."

"Maybe not?" He chuckled lowly. "A five-year-old, two four-year-olds, and a three-year-old. I think we get lucky enough."

"You want to get lucky tonight?"

"Yes." He nipped at her ear. "Remember. We count our blessings. Love our boys. And what happens, happens." He kissed her lips with a smack.

"Deal." She flipped them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Answers to Reviews: "Smo" is short of Cosmo. The boy made it up himself. It caught on. It's his name, sorry if you don't like it. It's how a little one I know says Cosmo, just drops the Co.**

 **Kevin Ryan is the sweetest guy in the world! Everyone has asshat moments, this happened to be one of them.** **Ryan has more to say, don't worry, and it's not bad! The confrontation came down to the heat of the moment. Ryan's reaction was heat of the moment and pent up emotion. Adoption: this Ryan in this story along with Jenny want the experience of birth and pregnancy**

 **I am NOT making it seem like boys are better than girls at all! Sorry if you think that! I love little girls. I love stories of Castle-Beckett little girls. With this story, it just happened. Both Castle and Beckett, all the characters really, want little girls, but with the Castle boys everything was a world wind after all three births mostly the second and eventually they got caught up with it. Kevin wanted a boy simply because people often want both genders in a set of children.**

 **I and Ryan both know Kate's body and Kate and Castle's decision for more kids has nothing to do with him and is solely their decision.**

 **This is AU: Ryan and Beckett aren't very personal about the topic of family building, but they're just closer in a different way in this story. Castle loves the name Cosmo, Cosmo's Kate's fourth baby. My middle brother was solely named by my father because my Mom was so tired. Castle cheated a little, but he added James for Jim. I always avoid two important names when naming Castle children, Alexander and Cosmo. I wanted to risk this little thing on this one.**

Kate was chipper the next morning. Her mood was helped by a peacefully warm and nude flex worthy of a husband asleep next to her. She rolled to rest on top of him for a minute before kissing his neck and jumping out of bed. She threw on some lounge wear and tiptoed to the kitchen. Kate waited for the morning murmurs of her four boys or maybe even Castle. As most mornings, Smo flopped out of bed and danced down the stairs in his footy pajamas.

"Hello, Cosmo!" Kate beamed. Smo beamed back at her and climbed onto a stool. He gripped his doggy stuffed animal in his hand with purpose.

"Hello!" he chirped back. Kate's heart still remembered that flutter from first time he replied to her at nine months. Boy were Castle and Kate proud. That was until he only said Hello and rarely Mama and Dada and Smo until he was eighteen months.

"Do you want some pancakes, Cosmo?" She flipped some on the stove.

"Smo loves pancakes. Yes!" Kate stared at him. He glared at her with those perfect green eyes. He didn't hate the name Cosmo, but he preferred Smo. After all, he did name himself Smo and he's Castle's son.

"How many, Smo?" She picked up a piece of pineapple. He gasped loudly and reached for the pile of pineapple eagerly. She grinned. She knew she could sway him from pancakes to fruit. Cosmo and Joe were the ones she would persuade to eat healthier without knowing. Nico was too picky and Jack was too smart. Cosmo was easily distracted and Joe just was easy to persuade, that being said he could do the same to you.

"Who are da pancakes for, Mama?" he asked happy with his plate full of fruit and toast.

"They're for Daddy." Kate tilted her head along with Smo. He mirrored her for a second.

"Nico and Jackie too?" Smo shoveled food into his mouth.

"We'll see. Do you want one?" Smo shook his head. He pulled at his footy pajamas. "Want to get dressed?" Smo nodded his head. He seriously looked to his food as if trying to choose which would be better. "Let me turn this off." She skipped around and hauled him off the stool.

"Are we gonna wake Nico and Joe, Mama?" Smo blabbered as she half carried him up the stairs. He danced on his tippy-toes and talked about clothes.

"All right, fashion-boy. Colors for the day." She twirled to his closet. Smo tapped his finger with his chin as she pulled his suit off him.

"Yellow!" Kate pulled out a bright yellow sweater. "No! No! No! Red!" Kate rolled her eyes and pulled out a red t-shirt. "Yay!" She moved her hands toward his pants that are closer to sweatpants. "No! No!" She turned to the legging type pants. "NO!" Kate quickly snatched some dark shade jeans and ran over to him not fond of the thought of three woken boys.

"Inside voice, Cosmo James," she scolded. "Shoes?" she'd normally wait till they'd go toward the door, but with this kid it took hours to get them on before leaving. Plus he had a certain preference for shoes. The one child that got her shoe love.

"Blue?" He narrowed his eyes. She narrowed her eyes. "Boots? No! George's!" Kate nodded smiling. She reached for his blue Jordan's with the black Velcro tongue. Smo sighed in happiness and pointed his feet to her.

When they got downstairs, Jack had taken up the couch wrapped in his blanket. "Morning, Jack," Kate softly called out. Jack turned to her barely.

"Morning." He yawned. Kate noticed the pancakes had a dent in them. She frowned. Too big for just Jack. The moment her sense went on alert, arms wrapped around her waist and she was yanked back roughly to a bare chest. Castle kissed down her neck. Smo wrinkled his nose and chucked a strawberry at Castle. He ducked behind Kate.

"Smo, throwing isn't nice."

"You make funky noises when Daddy does that." He groaned and threw his head back in frustration. Kate blushed deeply. Rick was taking advantage of the low hem line of her shirt. His hands messed with her. She twisted in his arms trying not to make "funky noises." She finally ripped out of his arms and turned the stove back on glaring at him.

"Good morning, Beckett." He smacked his lips against hers. Smo's smacking lips after getting something sour. "Can I have smo?" Castle motioned to the pancakes.

"Not funny, Daddy," Smo stressed. "You can have smo of dis." He held his plate up grinning ear to ear. Kate rolled her eyes.

"Now you got him started." Kate grumbled.

"But you love it!" Castle grinned.

"She does." Jack strutted across the room in his baseball gear. Kate's upside-down smile turned into a full out grin. He didn't have a game today. "Fashion and puns. That's Mom and Dad." Jack smirked into his chest and sat down next to his brother. Castle laughed loudly. "Pancakes?" Kate covered a plate. Smo smugly smiled to his mother. Castle joined their eldest in eating pancakes liked starved men.

The morning came to a full halt when they heard two pairs of feet hit the stairs. "Breakfast!" Was shouted by two identical voices. Kate leaned to the side trying to figure out who was a split second faster.

Nico jumped to the fruit and Jonah jumped to the pancakes. Kate smirked. They'd dress themselves in swimsuits, one with a button down, one with a sweater, and both wore their favorite socks. Nico had on blue flame socks and Jonah had on bright orange monkey socks. "Clones," Castle stated. They looked up at their father.

"Daddy," they responded. Their blue eyes met when they were synced. They smirked and sat together.

"They're not clones," Jack lectured. "They're identical twins." His d was off. Kate nodded to him thinking the same.

"They too are! I don't know them difference." Smo raised a fist.

"Yes you do." Jack rolled his eyes. "Nico has cowlicks and is shorter and lighter. Jonah is bigger and has a little darker hair at the top and his hair is more of a bowl cut that's thicker." Kate and Rick nodded. Kate tried not to add personality into question.

"But Nico is quiet and … decisive. Jonah is athletic and a good listener."

"You paused," Smo pointed. Castle sweated. Nico's head raised. His eyes weakened.

"There are a lot of choses to choose from in differences between your big brothers." Kate's hand fell over Nico's.

"You mean the clones," Smo corrected. Jonah stared at the hand. He covered Kate's hand with his own.

"I can eat more donuts!" Nico raised his chin.

"I can run faster!" Joe shouted. Kate bowed her head and Rick grumbled. Now started the size up. Kate added four pancakes to Nico's plate to match Jonah's and they all sat back. Kate got her phone out and texted Alexis.

" ** _I love Castle Twin Battle!_** " was her response. Kate grinned. She kept her phone handy to text the finally picture. After they both downed four pancakes, the rest of the strawberries and pineapple, and did thirty push-ups each, they crawled over to each other. Castle had the video tape rolling with a smirk. Nico and Joe pushed their foreheads together and growled at each other from their chests. Kate snapped the picture while Castle pushed closer for the sound.

" ** _Castle Twin Battle winner, the growl._** " Kate laughed. It looked like they were smiling at each other with love. Smo tackled Jack to the ground nearby and squealed with laughter when he was thrown onto the couch. Kate snapped another picture. " ** _Brother Battle, begins. How many more days till Hamptons vacation?_** "

" ** _Wish I was there. Sure I'll see the videos from Dad later. Three days till Hamptons. Don't forget to pack the nail polish, sundresses, hairspray, and tanning lotion._** " Kate let out a breath of relief. She could survive three more days until she got her girl fill.

Castle had dropped the camera and joined the wrestling match. Kate thought about it, tiptoed to it, and finally jumped in on top of Nico. Limbs scattered and whacked into each other. Kate was punched in the breast about three times before she finally rolled to the front door arm style. No one followed, but she still covered her chest. Castle joined her ten minutes later. "Groin?" she asked looking down.

"Hair," he whimpered. Kate chuckled. "Pelvis, head, breast, hips, or belly?" She hated that the boys got so many places on her.

"Boob, three times in a row," she whined.

"Want me to massage?" He wiggled his eyebrows. Kate looked to the boys. Smo grabbed a couch cushion and flew onto Joe. Nico flipped from head to toe to smack Jack in the leg.

"How much time do you think we have until someone bleeds or cries?" she whispered. Castle turned to watch for a second.

"If I take Joe and you take Smo in a hug battle, we'll have twenty. If we let it play out, we have five." They both nodded and set off for their assigned battler. Kate folded Smo into her and crushed him a little.

"What are you doing?" he shrieked. Castle crushed Joe into him.

"Hug battle!" Kate shouted. Jack and Nico jumped each other. Smo screeched, even after Kate crawled away and had Joe hug battle Smo. Hug battles were simple: loudest gets the toughest and most hugs. Smo often won, or if you were smart lost. Nico took over and they knew it'd be passed on the Jack shortly then to Joe and finally landing back to Smo.

The couple ran into their bedroom quietly and locked it quickly. They got away with fifteen minutes of adult play before there was a shout of pain. Kate dashed into the room. She helped Joe off the floor and over to the kitchen. "What've we got?" Castle shouted pulling Nico into his arms.

"Nose bleed. It's clotting." She kissed Joe's head. He leaned into her crying hard. She wrapped an arm around him and rocked back and forth slightly.

"I in't oo id on purpose!" Jack stumbled. Rick turned to him.

"Say it again," he softly asked.

Jack swallowed and took his time saying, "I didn't do it on purpose." It still held urgency. Nico shook in Rick's arms. Rick rubbed the boys back. Jack fell onto the couch.

"We know, Jack. You'd never purposefully hurt someone," Rick replied. Jack moaned. Cosmo crawled onto the couch and awkwardly patted Jack's back.

"Bleedings done!" Kate announced. Joe leaned his head on her chest, but she kept a few paper towels close by.

"Should we get Lanie's medical advice?" Castle quietly asked.

"He's fine. Just a nose bleed. It doesn't hurt, does it?" She gently pressed on his nose. There was little to no reaction from Joe. Kate nodded an affirmative and walked with him to the couch. "Go write, Castle. I've got it."

"Are you sure?" She nodded happily.

…

Kate had Smo clabbering her, Nico begging to watch a movie, Joe who had recovered from his little injury and was riding circles on a tricycle, and Jack making noises for a race rack. She was close to her limit, but Rick was writing. She looked longingly at her phone on the coffee table. She wished it to vibrate with Alexis news, or a playdate wish, or an idea for an adventure in February. After ten minutes of wishing, her phone buzzed. She nearly knocked Smo to the ground grabbing it.

"No, Mom!" all four boys were in agreement. Like their father they knew a buzzing phone meant business.

"Just a text!" she exclaimed when three hands reached for the phone prepared to chuck it across the room. They all moaned. "From Uncle Ryan!" She scrolled through it and felt her heart rise. She sighed heavily and kissed Smo's soft hair. She texted with him for a minute before rising. "We're going to the park! Castle, want to come to the park? The Ryan's will be there."

Castle was out of the office and ready to go by the time Kate had two boys with shoes on, including the one who started with shoes. He helped with the other two, they took a stroller in case, and hauled their clan to a park in the middle of the homes. Jenny wasn't there, it happened to just be Ryan, Sarah Grace and JJ. JJ engaged the twins and Smo in play while Sarah Grace and Jack danced around each other looking for an activity. Ryan calmly, with his head down, sat on an empty bench. Castle didn't even have to push Kate in his direction.

She sat down next to him mirroring his position. "I'm sorry," his voice was strong.

"Thank you." Their heads raised. Kate fiddled with her phone and Ryan twiddled his thumbs.

"I went overboard, Kate." He cracked for a second. She let him pull it together. Her hand did land on his forearm. "I don't know what took over me. Javi said you were pregnant and I just saw red."

"It's okay. We all have those moments." Kate turned to her feet. Ryan never really had to apologies before. He was the one who followed the rules and was genuinely nice.

"Not me," he whimpered. Kate turned to him with a gentle smile. He screwed his face up.

"I know that. After your lecture," she used the word carefully. She could see he wanted to correct her with something more childish. "I knew you were putting all the years of frustration on me. That's okay. Esposito would have had a breakdown if you did it to him. Jenny probably wouldn't have talked to you. Castle wouldn't have stopped crying for a month. I can handle it."

"You know it's all your decision!" he jumped in. "I was completely wrong to say otherwise. You're not too old. You're healthy. You could have babies for many more years. You could have ten and you wouldn't be harming any of them, because you are good parents." He needed to get these words out. "You have nothing to do with Jenny and I. We chose the route we chose. We talked adoption, but didn't want it. You getting pregnant, is something that's good." He even managed a smile. Full of tears, but still.

"Ryan, it's okay. I've seen how happy you get each time you find out we're pregnant. I know you love my kids." She was trying hard to convince him. He didn't seem to be taking it.

"I hurt you, though." He tucked his chin against his neck like a little boy.

"You brought things to my attention. I am getting older. I do have many blessings that I could be looking over. I have a dangerous job. Castle does have his hands full." Ryan squished his eyebrows together fighting emotions. He knew he should have asked her to come to his place. He felt so weak crying. Kate's hand rubbed his shoulder like a mother would do with her own child. "You also gave me the strength to talk to Castle about everything."

He looked up at her with hopeful blue eyes. She nodded. "I wouldn't be here without him helping me understand what you were trying to say, Ry."

"Can he translate for me?" Kate laughed.

"If you want him to." She looked over at Castle who was halfheartedly pushing Cosmo on the swings. Castle's eyes quickly diverted to the child.

"I'm so sorry, Beckett." Ryan huffed at himself. "I never even asked how you felt about all this."

"All this?"

"You being pregnant." He looked her dead in the eye.

"I'm not pregnant!" Kate shot backwards. "Ryan, it was an idea. A thought. I'm not pregnant."

"But if you were," he pushed. Kate bit her lip. "Would you want the baby? Boy or girl? One or more? Too many kids or not enough or just right?" Ryan was getting his spunk back. Kate rolled her eyes at him. "Tell me."

"You know I'd want the baby. Girl." She smirked. "I see you with Sarah Grace. I see how beautiful, smart, collected, angelic she is. I want one. I _really_ want one. But I can't tell Castle that. He'd feel bad. He had has a girl. And having all boys has made my relationship with Alexis stronger. I love that. And I love that Alexis is still Daddy's Little Girl, but I want a baby I can dress in pink and purple dresses. With bows in her hair that isn't a practical joke." Kate's eyes glassed over with dreams. Kevin smiled slowly.

"You can always take her for a spin you know? She's surrounded by your boys."

"But she has cousins that are girls, right?" Kate leaned in making sure Sarah Grace wasn't being deprived.

"Yes. An abundance of girl cousins. SO many nieces." His eyes went wide. "All princesses and flowers. Only a few tomboys. I'm sure your girl will be both. Making a balance somehow." Kate's heart swelled with the idea of her girl.

"Daddy, I want Uncle Castle to push me but he says I'm too big." Sarah Grace was not happy. Kate stalked over without a second glance back.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Richard Castle?" she started.

"What'd you talk about? Is he okay? Are _you_ okay?"

"Apologies to Sarah Grace!" He sulked over like one of their children, got on his knees in front of the bundle of cuteness, and apologized from his heart.

"Can I be pushed?" He comically nodded his head. "Can I get chocolate?" Castle searched his pockets. Ryan waited. Castle came up empty handed. "Then…" She stumbled. She didn't know what to do now. She'd never gotten the candy asked for, or did and gave it back. "Carry me?" Rick turned his back to her. "Pony!" she added. Sarah Grace jumped onto Castle's back and giggled with all her might when he made horsey noises.

"Good with girls," Ryan mumbled. Kate felt like he was being her mother or worse, Lanie or Madison.

"I know." She raised her chin. "Why do you think one more appeals to me so much?" With that she chased after Cosmo. Ryan grinned ear to ear happy with their conversation.

 **Author's Note: I needed to answer those questions in case more people had the same thoughts, which is seems that they do. I risked a lot of things with this story, Ryan's personality changes that could always happen after the years of torment he went through, Kate's personality, choosing to make it a big deal that they had so many of the same sex of children, and Cosmo's name. All these risks came to bite me in the butt. I'm not sure if people like the storyline as much as I do. I know there are rifts in it, or angst. This chapter has more "fluff" in it, but hopefully resolves some issues. I love the criticism, and that people seem passionate** ** _maybe_** **. But if I don't get a review that asks me to continue or that this was an enjoyable read, after my fluffier chapter, I might just stop the story here. I think it's a good ending place. I know there are followers, but that can mean many things to me. You could just see following as a "like" button or you could genuinely want the story to continue. So just tell me to keep publishing the Four Boys stories or to let the story end here for the world.**


	3. Chapter 3

Kate sprawled out on her bed. "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" Smo jumped on the bed near her head. "Laser tag, laser tag, laser tag." He did his special dance, arms bent, head down, and body shaking. Kate closed her eyes. "Momma, you gonna play? You always beat us. Maybe ya shoooodn't." He flopped down on the bed next to her. "Momma?"

"Yes, Cosmo." Smo wiggled into her side and grinned up at her. She smiled down at him with love.

"I just farted." Kate's smile faltered for a minute. Then she bubbled with laughter. "I might have sharted," Smo mumbled. She rolled onto her side her belly aching. "What does sharted mean, again?" Smo looked up at her with eyes full of confusion. She wrapped her arms around him and squished him to her.

"Ah, sharted means you feel like you pooped while you farted." She smirked after her explanation. Never thought she'd have poop talks so normally.

"Oh! Well I did not shart. That sounds like shark." Smo then went on to explain how sharks were cool, but scary. Kate tried to ignore him, tried to sleep a little. The play date with Ryan ended with a hug and exhausted children. Smo refused to nap. They made a deal, nap with Momma. Which normally meant do whatever you want while Mommy tries her hardest to rest.

Smo rolled so he was on top of her, full body. He tucked his chin into her neck painfully. He nudged so his knees were digging into her ribs. Somehow cuddling with him was hurtful at times. "I love you, Cosmo James." He softened in her arms. He blew warm air onto her neck and finally settled into sleep.

After a twenty minute nap, Nico slunk into bed with Kate. Smo jumped out of bed and played army-hide-out under Castle's desk. Castle dodged the child while he wrote. Kate rolled over long enough to spoon Nico and let him under the covers. They fell asleep quickly and weren't woken until Jack crawled into bed with them. Nico moved deeper into Kate making sure his spot was safe. Jack didn't mind. He stuffed his face in Castle's pillow and laid silently, awake. Waiting for something to happen.

"Beckett!" Castle ran into the room. Kate shot up in bed. Nico whined and wiggled deeper into the bed.

"What? What? Where's Jack?" Beckett fell out of bed and scrambled after Castle.

"Jack's crying. He slipped in milk and hit his head."

"Milk?" Kate frowned at the scene before her. A white puddle in the kitchen, a pile of vomit next to the puddle, a child crying on the floor, and another child trying to smell the puke. "What the hell?" she whispered. She slid over to Jack and inspected his head.

"Cosmo!" Castle admonished. Cosmo jumped away from both puddles. "That's so gross!" Castle jerked the boy away and into the office. "Where's Joe?" Castle looked around for the boy who was the cause of most of this mess. Kate put ice on Jack's injury. He curled into her. Castle checked all corners for the blonde little dude. "Jonah," Castle called.

Jonah dashed across the room straight into Castle's legs. He had vomit on his breath and splatter on his face. Castle cringed at the smell. "Don't make me sad. Don't make me sad," Joe repeated over and over sobbing. Castle choked on his voice. He looked to his wife for help. She did not give him any. She had trouble with that at times herself. Kate kept her eyes on Jack and his big brown eyes.

"How'd you fall?" He answered in his normal paused and sloppy manner. Meanwhile, Castle in a very low voice was telling Jonah how wrong he was and asking if he threw up on purpose or if he felt sick. Joe was sobbing and falling around the room. Dramatic as Castle's come, but he pressed Castle's key points.

"You make me so _sad_ , Dada." Oh using baby voice and Dada. Ouch. "I so sad," Joe mumbled. He covered his ears and closed his eyes. Dropped grammar and flinching. Nico stumbled out of their bedroom in his underwear and with dazed eyes. He saw his soulmate of a brother on the floor crying. Nico looked to his other brother who had an icepack and swollen eyes.

"M. Mama?" Nico whimpered. His idols were crumbling. Kate stood straighter and raised her head. Nico's eyes seemed to falter on her for a second and he turned to his father. Kate's heart was crushed. Castle of course had tears in his eyes and was crouching in front of Joe with a lost look. Nico's brow dropped, annoyed. "Momma." Nico turned to Kate fully and watched her eyes glow with pride. He stepped toward her.

A loud crash followed an exclaimed, "Uh oh." Nico turned and was at the action before either parent had released a child.

"Wow!" Nico had the common sense to pull Smo's greedy hands away from broken glass. He'd been cut before, it was pressed in his memory. "What'd you break?" Nico giggled. Smo shrugged comically. Castle came into the office with an even more lost look on his face. Nico look up at his father with a grin. "What'd he break?"

Castle's eyes hardened. Nico's eyes widened. Smo caught the anger and chirped, "Bye!" The three-year-old slipped out of Nico's hands and toward the front door. Kate was just launching off to get to the door when it swung open. Everyone gasped. Smo took one second to look in awe before he was out. Kate was tripped up accidentally by Joe. He happened to be crawling toward the action still pained by Dad's confrontation.

"Cosmo!" Kate shouted. She slammed into the wall outside their loft. Castle trapped Joe and Nico by penning them to the ground. They both grunted with superhero might. Jack slipped off the counter and tiptoed to the door. Castle didn't have any more hands. Jack simply peeked out the door. He turned back to his father.

"Where are they?" he asked. Castle's jaw dropped.

…

Kate pounded on the elevator. She had no idea if it was open or even near to their floor. Before thinking, she flew into the stairwell and then slid down a set of stairs. Smo knew of the stairwell, used it often with Kate, and was very good at stairs. Mastered them the quickest. "Cosmo!" she shouted again.

She didn't hear pattering of feet or any giggles. The one tell of Cosmo James Castle: he couldn't hold in the giggles. Kate just rejoiced that this wasn't Nico. She figured she had two options. Check each floor, or go immediately to the lobby. She didn't have her phone but hoped the doorman was smart enough to spot a little Castle running around and call the loft.

Kate slammed the door to the next level open, cringing at last minute thinking of Smo hiding behind the door. She didn't call to him, that just urged him on. Sweeping an area without a gun was strange, but still normal. No little round heads or blue covered feet. By the second floor down, she had fallen to begging. "You're not in trouble. I love you. You can have ice cream," and others were used as prizes. They were not taken. She couldn't find him in the hallways and hoped no neighbors let him in.

By the third hallway down she was desperate. Pictures of little bodies in the street were pushed out of her mind. "Cosmo, please! Mommy's scared." After sweeping, she looked down the stairwell seeing nothing then went into the next floor. She started knocking on doors.

"Mrs. Castle?"

"Yes. One of my sons, Cosmo. He's lost in the building. Can you help me find him?" She never thought she'd be in this position. All answers were of helping hands, except the few missing or elderly. She had everyone in pairs. She sprinted down to the lobby. "Michael!" The man jumped.

"Yes?" He held his heart.

"Smo? Have you seen him? Cosmo," she stumbled. He shook his head, but by the headphones and magazine she had a feeling he wasn't paying too much attention. "Keep a look out!" She ran out the building. Snow was on the ground and Smo was not prepared. She knew he'd get wrapped up with something exciting. Keeping her eyes open she went left. The graffiti was that way. He love the "Raffi."

His name fell off her lips too easily. She could image the headlines. Her ears opened and eyes peeled. She was jogging down the street. The scent of meat caught her nose. She turned around and went down a pedestrian alley. "Seriously?" she whispered. This couldn't get worse. That was until she stopped in front of playground. Oddly streaming with children during February. She closed her eyes and called his name, no one turned. She checked his favorite spots: tunnels, swings, and any balls. Nothing.

Cosmo was fast. She gave him enough time while checking the building to go farther than anyone would have liked. She was getting deeply worried but then her head turned to a hot pink jogger. She chased after the woman, but looked around her not at her. Again another head turn to a large group of dogs. "Dogs," she whispered. Cosmo loved dogs. She searched the group of dogs, but didn't spot that round head.

Kate was two steps toward a group of climbing trees when a voice asked her, "Are you the Mom?" She turned.

"Yes," was immediate.

"I was worried." A young man seemingly the owner of some of the dogs or at least the walker smiled. "He's over there with some birds." He pointed opposite the trees.

"Thank you." Kate was off before the man could reply. She saw the flutter of feathery hair. But he was trailing toward the street. She ran at top speed and tackled him inches from the road. He shrieked in a more alerted manner than usual. "It's Mommy. It's Mommy," Kate repeated into his hair.

He calmed after a minute. His eyes looked up at her with joy. That was until her own joy passed into anger. He frowned then got terrified. "Cosmo James Castle," she lectured. He tried to crawl away from her but she had her dead weight on him. She was not guilty about his tiny body. "You _never_ leave home without Mommy or Daddy." Her voice was low and threatening. "You _never_ cross the street." She could tell he wasn't getting any of this.

"Adventure, Mommy," he pleaded wiggling against her. Kate closed her eyes and pinched his ear. He yelped, "Why?"

"You ran away from home," she growled. "You left Mommy and Daddy. You do not do those things. You stay where we tell you."

"But it's fun here," he whined.

"You could get hurt." Smo was completely confused now. Kate whacked his thigh. Smo whimpered halfheartedly more for the dramatics.

"That hurt." She nodded at his fact. "That happen every adventure?" he squeaked.

"Every adventure you have without Mommy and Daddy. You need a grown up with you. To keep you safe." Cosmo started to cry. "You could have been hurt much more if I didn't catch you," she warned.

…

When they got back to the loft, Michael called all the neighbor guards down. Kate carried Smo over to their home. Jack still had his head peeked out of the doorway. "They're back!" he exclaimed cheering and running around the room. Castle didn't move an inch since she'd left. Nico and Joe were forced into place. All three blue eyed boys watched Kate and Cosmo walked into the room. Smo slithered down onto the floor and was tackled by the blonde Vikings. Castle gripped Kate in a warm kiss before dragging Smo into a bear hug.

The boy was loving the attention. They all knew it. "I'm back," he cheered. Castle pulled him away from his brothers by the underarms and over to the stairs. Smo kicked his legs and whined. "Whad I do?"

"You ran away. We didn't know where you were or what had happened." Castle explained all the reasons why what Cosmo did was wrong while he carried the boy upstairs to his room. "You are in timeout." Smo started to complain.

"No." Castle was firm. "You scared Mommy and Daddy. We were really scared, Smo. You left and we couldn't find you. We didn't know what had happened to you." The three year old had no idea what could have happened to him. Castle did not want to ruin the innocence. "Mommy and Daddy, well Mommy never gets scared. You scared her," he whispered.

Smo's green eyes widened. Scaring Mommy was a big deal in that house. "I'm sorry," he cried. He flung his body onto his bed and cried his heart out. Castle dropped one kiss to his head and walked out.

…

"Where'd you find him?" Nico pushed.

"Did you spank him?" Jonah asked. Jack was busy pursuing their collection of children's books. The twins fired questions at Kate in a never ending pace. She was on the couch and staring duly at the first Nikki Heat book on their bookshelves. Her body was limp. Jack finally walked over, crawled lightly into her lap, opened a book, and clearly spoke out the words.

After the first few pages, Kate slung her arms around Jack's warm torso and hugged him tightly. She kissed his jaw every time his voice hesitated. When one word stumbled him, she whispered the line. The twins were on their knees in front of him, eyes wide, hearts glowing, and ears proud. Kate evilly smiled behind Jack's neck. He knew a few sentences, but had memorized this book from bedtime stories. He regained idol in Nico's eyes and lifted Joe's spirits.

Story time with Jack ended as usual, "Off to Neverland we go My Boys!" He jumped in the air and they all lunged to play. Jack started them off with simple characters of made up Lost Boys. He was the leader and they tracked around the loft searching for the "Lost One." Jack called upstairs off limits and they went at it. Jack was a leader of sorts. Joe might be the "big brother" type, but Jack was the leader of their little clan. He was effortlessly creative, calm, concerned, and endlessly full of quick fun games.

…

Kate stayed frozen on the couch for a good twenty minutes. Even after Castle came down and wrapped her against his chest for a few minutes. She didn't sink in or move in the slightest. He kissed her cheek. "I'm going to get you some coffee," he whispered. Then he was gone and she stared at the Nikki Heat book again. Jack tiptoed over to ask if she was okay every few minutes. He got a sharp nod for an answer. He tiptoed away with a hesitant look in his eye.

Coffee was placed in her hands after they were pried open. Castle kissed her head. He went in to the office then came out a minute later with his laptop. He sat next to her, moving her so she leaned into him, and typed. After thirty minutes of roaring play and typing keys, Kate jerked and flew into her bedroom. Castle chased after her. He opened the door to find her face down on the bed. "Kate," he whispered. She sobbed in response.

She was gently moved into his arms. Tears poured down his neck. "He was _inches_ from the street," she bawled. "I could see the crime scene." Castle squeezed her harder. "Then his face. He was. He was." She hiccupped. Castle waited patting her back. "Proud." She sniffled deeply. "Even after I tackled him and popped his leg. He's proud of what he did, Castle. I know he'd do it again. The second he had a chance. He's not afraid." Her eyes looked up at him full of terror.

"One thing scares him into order," Castle whispered. Kate looked at him with hopeful eyes. He frowned at her before creaking into a smile. "His Mommy being scared."

…

Before she'd crawled up to the fourth's room, she spent some time with their old Jack. He was in need of some attention. They hadn't known until he walked into their room, crawled onto their bed, rested his head on Kate's chest, and said, "How come you go on adventures with Smo and not me?" They melted.

After answering carefully that their adventures with Smo were not fun and always ended in timeout, Jack cuddled into his parents and asked, "Well if they're no fun then why does he get so much love after?"

Guilt set in quickly. Castle opened his mouth to go into a long explanation, but Kate beat him to it. "Because life isn't fair," she whispered. Jack looked up at her with big innocent brown eyes. "He shouldn't get so much love after misbehaving. But the way he misbehaves makes us scared. We think we'll never see him again and we want to get all the lovies before he tries to run away again." Jack's brow creased.

"Maybe if you don't love him after he runs, he'll stop running away." He wasn't happy with Kate's answer.

"That's why life isn't fair. We love him then punish him. Sometimes we punish him then love him. He's going through a phase. Soon he'll be a big boy like you and won't run away."

"Did I run away?" Jack leaned into her and looked with hopeful eyes. He wanted to know if he got as much love as his brother, but also if he owned up to his brother's antics.

Castle answered proudly, "You ran away three times. Once you ran away to find Alexis. You came back shortly though because you found her in the elevator." Jack's face fell a little. "But you were packed and ready to go. You had a map of the subway and city that you drew. You had you little police badge and a backpack full of food, blankets, belts, and paperclips. You closed the door and left."

"Did you know about it?"

"We knew you were preparing to leave. We didn't think you'd do it." Castle shrugged.

"Did you run after me?" Castle and Beckett shared a look.

"We didn't know you left!" Castle exclaimed. Jack bubbled with laughter. "You were so quiet and we thought you were still packing. We didn't even know you were gone until you came back with your prize. You were a ninja." Jack hid his face and smiled wide.

"The other times?" He rolled onto his back and pictured the scenes playing out on the ceiling.

Kate took a deep breath before answering. "We were going to the aquarium. I was pregnant and you vowed to protect me on the subway. A man was 'luckin add me funny' so you chased after him when he got off." Castle laughed at the impersonation. "I wobbled after you. You were seriously on the chase. You went up the stairs, followed him down the street, and into a bar. I was barely keeping up. Honestly, I was too pregnant to be going on trips in the subway. You were quick and grabbed hold of his feet before he entered the bar. He tripped up when you bit his leg. I saw you cling to him right before I got to you. You were so happy you caught the man, then I 'wed my pants.' And that was the day your brothers were born."

Jack narrowed his eyes at the impersonations of his quotes, but couldn't hid the smile. "I was so little, though." They nodded their heads. "I always came back." He curled into them.

"You always came back," Kate repeated.

"Always," Castle added.

…

Kate carefully walked into the daredevil's room. He had slipped into sleep after a long crying patch. Kate curled into his tiny toddler bed and spooned him. He didn't move, but seemed to relax more. Her baby was bigger. Another reminder of the possibilities. Cosmo's list of "adventures" was longer than all their kids combined. He was the one detriment to her wish.

Kate looked down at her "last baby." The urge to have another was still there, but Cosmo's pink cheeks and colorful wardrobe made her question her decision. Cosmo was so much by himself. He ran, shouted, squealed, wrestled, jumped, danced, and was one hundred percent all day long. She felt guilty for wanted to put more on their family.

The twins were troublemakers by heart, but they pulled enough pranks on each other that they mellowed out in the long run. Jack was a constant good hearted kid that only rebelled with sports and when it came to playground time. Smo was a constant worry or attention holder. Alexis barely got enough Dad time to register as part of the family on some days. Kate's heart ached when she'd find Alexis crying in the Hamptons house or during the holidays because one of the boys pulled Rick away from her.

They had so much going on. Adding another to the mix would make all the kids amp up their ways for a few months before they settled down. Kate didn't know if she could do it. She thought of the little pill she takes each morning and how she ignored them this morning. She only prayed for the Ryan's because that's what they would do. She didn't really believe in all that. She did it for Ryan out of respect. But at that moment she wanted someone of a higher power or maybe just anyone to give her a hint as to what she was supposed to do.

"Mommy, I'm sorry," Smo whispered. Kate kissed his feathery hair. "I not mean to make you scared." He flipped and curled into her neck. "I wuv you."

"I love you too," she whispered back. Another I wuv you mixed in would be a nice thing. Another cuddle monster. Another sweet face. Another Castle. As long as this kid didn't bite while nursing or projectile vomit when placed in her hands every morning, she could do it. Castle was already excited at the prospect.

"I gots ta hold ya, Mam-der." Smo squeezed her in a bear hug. Kate sighed. Mam-der was the best job in the world.

 **If you took the time to review or anything similar, thank you. Honestly, this is not being patronizing. I'm not trying to single anyone out. If I did, sorry (cringe face). Know you take the readers thought seriously. Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

_"I love you too," she whispered back. Another I wuv you mixed in would be a nice thing. Another cuddle monster. Another sweet face. Another Castle. As long as this kid didn't bite while nursing or projectile vomit when placed in her hands every morning, she could do it. Castle was already excited at the prospect._

 _"I gots ta hold ya, Mam-der." Smo squeezed her in a bear hug. Kate sighed. Mam-der was the best job in the world._

 **Chapter 4**

Kate tiptoed out of Smo's room planning on meeting her husband for desert. She got as far as the stairs when she was pulled into motherhood again. "Momma," came a soft voice. Kate turned and bent down. "I don't have any water." Joe held out his cup. Kate took it.

She had changed her mind about going alone. Joe seemed to need a little more than just water. "Want to come with me?" He smiled wide and skipped after her. She took his hand. Castle didn't say anything when he saw her walk down the stairs with a four-year-old trailing behind her. He walked into their room and let the two have their peace. Kate lifted her little boy onto the kitchen counter and filled his glass.

"Why do I have yellow hair?" Joe picked at his blonde strands. "You and Daddy don't." Kate hummed. She sat down and pulled him into her lap.

"When Daddy was your age, he had yellow hair." She kissed his head. "It's very cute, Jo-Jo-bee." Joe huffed and pushed into her chest.

"But he doesn't have yellows hair now." He looked up at her with those dazzling blue eyes, just like his father.

"No. It got darker the older he got. And one day it will be lighter again, like Grandpa." Joe pushed his chin into his chest.

"I want to be like Daddy," he moaned. Kate smiled.

"You are like Daddy." He gasped. "You have his blue eyes. His smile."

"So does Nico." He slumped in her arms.

"No. Nico has my smile. You two have his eyes and brow and ears, but you guys have my nose and chin." Joe nodded sadly. "Do you want to know about just you?" His eyes gave him away. "Well. You have your father's listening abilities. And yes, he is a good listener. You can translate what others are feeling, thinking, and saying to all of us. You're very patient."

"Dad's not patient!" Kate smiled a low knowing smile of the past.

"He is very patient." Thinking back to the four years he waited for her. "You're always up for new things, exactly like Daddy. You take care of people without asking for anything back. You love first. You always want to play. You never give up."

"That's you!" he complained pushing against her chest. She kissed his temple.

"No. Daddy never gives up too. You do and give everything you can for your family. And most importantly." Joe's eyes looked up at her with deep meaningful love, seeking guidance and help. "You're the big brother without trying. Before you ask that doesn't mean you're older than Jack. That means you help your brothers with anything troublingly them. You have Jack or Nico say something and you repeat it so it sounds the way they want it to. You watch people making sure to understand them before you help. You have the inner need to help and make people's lives easier."

Joe squished his head against her chest. "I love you, Mama." He squeezed her tight. "No ever forgetting that. Even if I die, you die or the world is gone. I love you." He kissed her cheek and bounced upstairs. Kate skipped into her room.

...

Rick was promptly woken two hours after Kate had let him pass out. He heard a rustling. Not in the mood to wake his wife, who had finally fallen asleep after a few hours between the sheets and another hour of writing on her back, he walked out of their room with a plastic bat he had confiscated from Jack in his hand. He tiptoed as quietly as he could he reached the office with a pounding heart.

"Boys?" he whispered. No one answered. "Alexis?" Nothing. "Mother?" he squeaked. He was at a lost cause. Then he tripped over something and hit the couch hard. "Beckett!" he squealed.

She must have really been out, because she only rolled onto her back and moaned deeply. He did get an answer though, "The name's not Beckett. It's Growler." Castle sucked in a deep gasp and chuckle. Castle looked down and saw a bright blonde head. Only in his Batman boxer-briefs in a crawling position was their "miracle boy."

"Nico?" Castle tilted his head and crawled over to the crawling boy. He barked to his father. "What are you doing?"

"Growler," Nico growled. He barked once more and slid around on all fours against the floor. Castle pushed down a cackle and carefully picked up the stick of a boy up. Nico's mop of yellow white flung in the air. "Nyet! Nyet!" Castle wrangled the sleep-crawling Russian dog up the stairs. "Nyet! Growler not boy! I'm dog," he screeched. Nico was carefully placed in his bed and covered with his covers. His yelling calmed when Rick sat on the edge of the bed and wrote the boy's name on his bare chest.

Nico's blue eyes popped open and he cringed at his father. "Daddy?" Rick kissed the mop head.

"You were Growler?" Nico grumbled and rolled onto his stomach. "What were you dreaming about?"

"Our puppy," he moaned. Castle noticed the remains of Nico's pajamas around his bed. "He's still big and soft and he smiles all the time and he wrestles with us and he jumps and he barks and he loves us and Mommy loves him." Nico's eyes glimmered again. Rick kissed his head.

"We'll talk about it later." Nico grumbled stuffing his face in his blue pillow. Rick dropped a kiss on Joe's mop head and tiptoed across the hall. A peek inside Jack's room informed him he had doubled with Smo. Onto Smo's room he went. The "baby" boy was on the floor half under his bed with a blanket and his stuffed doggy in hand. Rick knew not to touch him, so he blew a kiss. With Jack, carefully tucked under Cosmo's blankets, he placed a slobbery kiss on Jack's cheek.

"Dad," Jack whisper groaned. Rick grinned wide and walked out of the room with Jack dozing into sleep. Rick grabbed two glasses of water and slipped back in bed. Two seconds later Beckett's arm flew across his mid-drift and she sleepily dragged her body on top of his.

"Hello," Castle whispered with fear. Beckett rubbed her cheeks against his chest and nuzzled in. She only ever cuddled when she was in deep sleep or after a crying spell.

"Don't worry, Cazzzzzzz-le," she slurred. "You're too good gentleman to do stuff ta me." She wrapped her legs tightly in his and sweetly gnawed on his shoulder slipping into sleep faster than she threw her arm around him.

…

The next morning Nico and Joe were first up. Kate was still trapped in the sheets. So Rick stumbled upon two identical faces huddled together in deep conversation. Their heads turned like Children in the Corn. Castle shuddered. "Identical twins are so creepy," he whispered under his breath. "Morning."

Joe stood with his chest pushed out. Clothed in his red footy pajamas for extra effect he said, "We want a puppy." Castle huffed. This had been a want of the Castle boys since Jack was two. A wish of Castle's since he was a boy, and a wish of Beckett's since before she babysat Royal. Many discussions had been held over the matter. All ended with one word, "responsibility."

"Boys," Castle started.

"We are responsibility," Nico stated. Castle's twitch to correct but was stumped by Nico's mouth. His plump pink lip was caught between his sharp white teeth. A Beckett look. He pulled it off nicely. With the same tense face, but yet not fulling knowing he was doing it.

"We have to talk about this as a family." Rick started getting food out. The boys were not happy. One crossed his arms across his chest and the other tucked his chin tightly to his chest. Castle didn't say anything. He really wanted to break down and go get a dog, but he couldn't. They couldn't. Not yet at least. Especially if they were trying for a baby. And if last night, or the last few nights were any indication they were definitely trying for a baby. Baby fever was in the house and it was hot.

Joe and Nico accepted his answer and rushed into Rick's bedroom. They climbed up onto the bed and jumped. Kate yelped when a foot hit her thigh. She kicked back and a body slammed down onto her. "Mommy!" Kate cringed and opened her eyes. "That hurt." She consoled one of the twins not quite sure who.

When the other boy in the bed froze before he dashed off out of the room. Kate still wasn't positive on the boy moaning in her arms. "I'm so sorry, baby." She petted his bareback and kissed his fluffy head.

"Hurt," he moaned deeply. Kate searched for a tell on the skin of the boy. She crossed a patch of skin that was slightly puckered in a horizontal line. A scar.

"Sorry, Nico." She kissed his head. He didn't correct her so she smiled.

"You hurt me," he mumbled. Kate frowned deeply. "I get a puppy now." Her brow pushed together as she pushed her son off. He was trying really hard to stifle a grin.

"No." Nico scrunched his face up at her answer. He started to tremble and tried to cry. "Nicolas Houghton Castle." He huffed in defeat. "I'm sorry I hurt you, but you are not getting a puppy."

"But it's not fair!" he cried. "Ruby has a doggy. Sarah Grace and JJ, London, and Banjo all have doggies. I want one." Kate slipped the sheets off the bed and walked into the bathroom as Nico threw his fit. She came out dressed in warm clothes to find Nico face down on the bed and hands in his hair.

She sat crisscross on the bed and watched him come to. He sniffled before turning his head to her. "Please," he whispered. Kate rubbed his back and shook her head. She wanted a puppy, but she wanted a baby more according to her gut. Castle and Beckett would have to have another dog talk. She kissed his mop head and walked into the kitchen.

Joe was causally stripping out of his jumpsuit so he was wearing nothing. Kate scrunched her nose knowing no underwear in that thing must have been uncomfortable. She tapped his head with two fingers. "Clothes, goober." He walked around the couch twice, jumped once on the cushions before getting a glare of a blue eye, wiggled his booty, and dashed upstairs to his clothes. His red suit was left on the floor.

Nico stumbled out of their bedroom like he would after naptime and onto a stool. "Pancakes?" Rick asked. He didn't wait for an answer filling a plate with way too many cakes. Beckett had stuffed her head in the fridge looking for something a little heathier. "Pancakes?" Castle asked again this time to Beckett.

"No," she grumbled. He looked over her shoulder at the choice of foods.

"Are you sure? Nothing appealing is in there," he teased. She grumbled quietly and settled for a grapefruit. "Really?" He shook his head and turned to the pancakes.

Jack tiptoed down the stairs all ready for the day but with an interesting look on his face. "Why is Nico? Joe," He shot a look to Nico then back to his parents. "Peeing in the fern thingy?" Castle was gone in a flash. He pushed past his first son and rushed to his second.

When Jack sat down, they heard a comically upset voice of Castle shouting, "Why?" Jack and Nico giggled. Beckett shuddered hoping she'd get out of cleaning the floor around the plant. She sunk a pancake and held her finger to her lips to the two boys in front of her. One's eyes glimmered, the other smirked.

Castle came down carrying a hastily clothed Jonah under his arm. "Daddy, No fair! I want pancakes!"

"You peed in the fern! You don't get pancakes." Castle placed the boy on a stool and stiffly walked back to the pancakes. His hand heavily fell to the table. Beckett rubbed his lower back and pressed her lips to his neck.

"Is Joe gonna clean it up?" Jack asked. He seemed to be minding his own business just eating slowly, but he had an evil glint to his brown eyes.

"No!" Joe squirmed off the chair. Nico was simply buzzing with energy. Just as Beckett caught Joe by the front closet, Nico ran straight to the stairwell. His aim was off. His head slammed into the banner and he fell to the floor with dead weight. The sound of his half naked body thump dully against the floor killed Rick and Kate.

…

Castle got there first. He checked the dazed boy. He had a, thankfully, goose egg of blue and purple on his forehead. His eyes were blinking but he hadn't registered the pain just yet. "Ni-." Castle was cut short by a breathtaking cry of pain. Nico quickly started crying loudly and holding his head. Beckett tossed a bag of frozen peas to Castle. He caught it, thanking Jack for those baseball practices, and gently placed it on the forehead.

"Why'd you run?" Joe asked. He had taken a place on the floor next to his brother. Nico crying gibberish at him. Joe seemed to understand. "But Gumba doesn't help when Momma and Daddy get mad." Gumba being their blankets.

"Da pee," Nico explained. Jack screeched in laughter holding his belly. No one seemed to understand, but he did. They looked to the big brother for an explanation.

"'Da pee'," he quoted. "He wanted to soak up the pee with Gumba." Beckett bit her lip holding in laughter. Castle still didn't seem to get it, still in shock. Nico was led to the couch by his closest brother. Castle was dragging a butt load of paper towels upstairs. Beckett was leaning against the counter opposing the "first" born.

"What did you do this morning?" she asked. Jack's face darted to the stairs confused. Kate shrugged. He pursed his lips and thought of his answer.

"I woke up. Went pee. Got dressed. Saw Joe peeing in the plant. And came to tell you." Beckett tilted her head.

"You don't rat." Jack's went pale. "Truth," she ordered. He swallowed thickly. "I can always ask Jonah myself." Threateningly she took a step toward the couch. Nico and Joe were messing with the peas or more to the point Joe was messing with the peas.

"No!" Jack narrowed his eyes at his mother, knowing what she was doing. "I didn't let Joe into the bathroom." He shrugged. Beckett leaned into him wanting more. "That's it!"

"Did you _dare_ him to do it?" Jack didn't move a muscle. "Was it a contest?" Again nothing. Sometimes this kid was a vault. Honestly her hardest interrogations were with this one. Rarely lies happened. It was the extracting of the information that stumped her. "Want to tell me what happened with the fern?"

"I came out of the bathroom and saw Joe peeing in the fern."

"That's it?" He nodded. "Then you came to tell us right after." Jack took his time to retrace his steps before shaking his head. She wanted and visualized her anger that she didn't get him with that. "Well what did you do?"

"I was in my undies. I got dress then told you." She nodded. "I'm too big to be walking around in my undies and not big enough to have boxers like Daddy." She smirked a little at this one child who didn't run around naked.

"Okay. You usually come straight to us when you see something like that."

"I was cold." He shrugged. Kate raised a threatening brow. "It's February." His voice shook. He was breaking, slowly but so.

"Yes, but he was peeing on the fern. It was all over the place, yes?"

"Yes," he managed to squeak.

"Something that is high priority in this house." Jack nodded. "You're dressed nicely, usually buttons are messed up when you dress quickly. So why did you take your time?" Jack took a deep breath.

"Mom, stop interrogating me." His head fell a little. "I'm not lying. I messed up the order. I was dressed, went to the bathroom, and didn't let Joe in because he was naked and whining. When I came out, he was peeing in the fern. He was going pretty long. It was awesome." His eyes managed to reach hers now. "So I told him to keep going. You should have seen it. Just on and on. Then he stopped and slipped in the pee. He started to cry and _that's_ when I got you."

"Why did you make it seem like he did all the work?"

"Cause he did! I just didn't tell you right away." Jack shrugged. Then he stared her dead on with a serious face, except for one arched eyebrow. "I'm not a rat." He tilted his head as if asking her if this were true. She narrowed her eyes. The boy got her.

She cut the grapefruit in half. "No." The knife chopped into the wooden plank. "You're not a rat." She looked at him. "Loyalty to your brothers is important, Jack. But loyalty to your father and I is more important. I need to know that you'll tell me the truth. I don't care when you tell me as long as you tell me the truth." She's leaning closer to him. "You only rat with two occasions in this family." She paused to make sure he was listening. He sat up straighter. "When you're asked, and when there's a mess."

"I thought it was just when you're asked," Castle said coming back with a second boy under his arm. This one was in clothes the fashion of gansta-preschool-cutie. Baggy crotch pants, cute elephant shirt, black ankle boots, and spiked hair.

"No," she dragged. "You rat for two occasions. Messes and when asked." She glared at him.

"I don't rat at all!" Smo shouted. He raised his fists then clutched to his father when he became unbalanced.

"Why'd you spike his hair?" Kate moaned. Rick looked at her innocent.

"He stole Jack's hair gel and did it himself. It looks really good for a three year old."

"Why does Jack have hair gel?" She looked to the boy in question but he was ignoring her looking to his pancakes.

"For the black tie events and when he thinks a girl is cute in kindergarten." Castle shrugged. Beckett rolled her eyes. Of course.

"You mean the black tie events that happen twice a year?"

"Yes. But he likes a lot of girls. Not as many as Smo, but a lot." Smo whooped at the mention of his name. Castle looked down as if he forgot the kid was in his arms. He set him down. "Nico has a bruise on his face. Go check it out." Smo dashed off without a second thought.

"How much gel?" She nibbled on some of her fruit, grimaced, and threw the rest away.

"A hand full? Don't know. He came out when I was cleaning the pee. Joe managed to overflow the plant." He was in full astonishment. Kate rolled her eyes. No wonder the boys were obessed with the bathroom. "Seven months after potty training and he's mastered peeing standing up. I'm so proud," he sighed.

"You're potty training the next one," she growled. Castle's eyes flickered. She caught it. "You still want one, right?" Her voice was below her lowest whisper. She moved closer. He looked hurt for a second before smiling. "Castle?"

"I was just thinking about the boys and how they want a dog so bad." She frowned. "We want one too. Jack's old enough now. The twins practically begged after telling me they are 'responsibly'. Smo can connect with the dog. He chases after squirrels and plays tug of war with every toy and drools a lot."

"Okay. So you want a dog. Not a baby?" She was quiet and aching in pain. Castle frowned.

"No." He stared at the four boys on the couch talking about Nico's wound.

"You want a baby. But a dog too?"

"Yes? I don't know, Beckett. I want them both, but the boys deserve a win." She shook her head still not getting it. "Smo wants a dog, he's never mentioned a little sibling. Alexis would love another one, though she talks more about her future kids than another sibling tagged to her four already. The twins have their own little thing going and that kind of excludes Jack. He and Cosmo sort of make up their own pair. And if we add another, Smo would turn to the baby not Jack. Jack's in need of a buddy. If we get a dog he's always have the dog."

"This sounds more like you think four is enough rather than you want a dog. It's fine, Rick. I get it. That's why I asked you if this was okay. This isn't only my decision. It's ours and that includes the boys. We've never told them about our pregnancies until at least the second trimester. Maybe this time we should ask if they want another sibling. They're older. It will affect them more." She stopped. He dragged his arms around her. "I want another, but you know I can survive without one." She got tears in her eyes.

"Let's see how it plays out." A smile took over her entire body.

 **Thank you for reading. Thank you for the time you spent to read or to skim. You're reviews are interesting and I enjoy them a lot. This story may be over soon. But don't get nervous your likes and favorites and revives remind me and I work on this. Thank you again.**


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